Walking is a wonderful form of exercise, and the preferred way to see a city or countryside. And while leisurely perambulation is enjoyable, sometimes you just need to get to where ever you’re going, and pronto.
If you every thought that your face might be slowing you down, you are correct. In what can only be described as a mistake in our evolution, our face is not aerodynamic, which explains why it is so easy to get captured and mauled while running away from escaped tigers. One can only imagine how wide and jug eared our ancestor’s heads must have been, as they died out and our heads are still ill equipped to outrun marauding felines. If not for hungry tigers millions of years ago, we all might have heads shaped like a Costco sized box of corn flakes.
Fortunately, science is there to take over when evolution fails us. Pictures above are two women fitted with the Urban Walking Cone. As they make their way along the sidewalk, they will notice their speed increased by 1.5% over that of similar non-coned walkers. Plus, the pointy design is excellent for nudging tourists out of the way, who, having nothing better to do, invariably clog the sidewalk four abreast while being awe stuck and motionless at the sight of buses powered by overhead wires, and a McDonald’s next to strip club.